"Whoa. Lars von Trier is at Chipotle. He’s totally drinking Coke out of a free water cup."
— @Nebagakid
2 years ago
"You see, round here, it’s all about barbecue. You can get it on any corner. You walk up to a postal box, and it’ll say ‘dry rub or wet,’ and you just tell it which kind rub you want, then open up the slot on that postal box and there’ll be a slab of ribs. Because that’s how it’s always been done."
— Boss Farnum
4 years ago

I had invented the “Your Mom” joke.

    Mikey: Make me, Georges. Or are you too... quail? HOOKACHAW! HOOKACHAW!
    Geoffrey: Everyone! I have an announcement to make. The reason that Mikey wants to fight me so much is because I slept with his mother. That’s right. I’m Mikey’s new dad, and he’s just having a hard time reconciling that.
    Mikey: That's not true!
    But it didn't matter whether it was true or not. He was humiliated and had no retort. He ran away and never bothered me again.
4 years ago  #Enjoyable #Truth  4 notes
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